


Empty

by empty_waffles



Category: Original Work
Genre: Anorexia, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Eating Disorders, Food, Original Fiction, Starvation, honestly this is just a vent, i probably wont add much to this, unless someone actually likes it, which probably wont happen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:34:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23571667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/empty_waffles/pseuds/empty_waffles
Summary: Emptiness.One of the only things that mattered anymore. The weightless feeling that comes with the hunger and somehow makes all of the pain and hurting worth it.(just a small vent)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> warning: just in case you didn't read the tags, this is about an eating disorder. please be safe, and don't read this if it will trigger you.

Emptiness. 

One of the only things that mattered anymore. The weightless feeling that comes with the hunger and somehow makes all of the pain and hurting worth it. 

The feeling of stepping on the scale and knowing that you are thinner than the last time you had looked at the numbers. The lower the numbers go, the less pain you feel with every skipped meal. 

Maybe one day, you'll stop feeling that pain. Stop feeling everything. Maybe one day, everything will just stop. The numbers on the scale will please you, and you'll never have to skip another meal again. 

But you know that is never going to happen. The numbers are never going to please you, and you will never be able to look at food without counting every calorie in every bite.

You will never be thin, and as long as you aren't thin, you'll never be able to eat without feeling like a disgusting, selfish hog.

So you will just keep starving. You'll just watch as the numbers on the scale fall lower and lower and your bones jut out further and further and your body grows smaller and smaller with every passing day. 

Until one day, everything will finally stop, and you will never feel again. 


	2. Empty again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Empty.
> 
> Not sad. Not depressed. Empty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry its bad. i didn't edit this or anything, it's just a random vent of thoughts. most of these probably will be.

Empty.

Not sad. Not depressed. Empty.

It happens sometimes. I lay down in my bed, and stare at the ceiling, and don't feel a thing. I scroll through my phone, talking to my friends and watching funny videos, and don't feel a thing. I don't feel like smiling, or laughing, or crying.

I'm still not sure why. Maybe I'm defective. Maybe my body isn't built for a lot of emotions. Maybe I can only feel for short periods of time, or maybe I just need a hug every once in a while.

Maybe I'm broken.

But even if I am broken, it doesn't matter. I'm not really sure I can be fixed. I'm not something that can be patched up and repaired. I'm just me. And even if I really, really hate me sometimes, I'm not something that can be changed. 

No matter how many diets I go on, how many calories I count, how many hours I go without food, I will always be me.

Maybe that's okay. Maybe I'm meant to be me. Even if me isn't always the thing I want to be. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, thanks for reading even though it is bad. stay safe, stay hydrated, and stay alive.


End file.
